Meredith Swortwood

Date: 3.27.20
charcoal on paper
11 x 8.5 in.

On March 24, my physician relieved me of my job duties and instructed me to stay home due to my underlying medical condition. Anger swallowed me. My fingers itched to work, but making seemed forced. I wrote in a journal and started with questions.

Why am I touching my face?

Did I wash my hands?

How many times a day do I touch my face?

What did I touch at the office to get my coffee this week?

As I wrote these questions, I felt my brows pursing and facial features contorting with emotion. I wrote another question:

What does my face look like now?

In exploring this question, I confronted my anger. I snapped a photo of myself after journaling and began drawing a self-portrait from the image. I did this for three consecutive days. The questions continued.

What are my priorities?

What is important to me – today?

What can I do to make myself feel ok?

How worried should I be about my health?

Am I living in fear?

Why am I so angry?

What makes me angry?

In discovering what makes me angry, will I discover what matters to me most?

© Meredith Swortwood