Lily Finch

“If this bill had been passed, then I don’t know what I would’ve done. But if I had the baby, the life I have today wouldn’t exist, and that would be a tragedy for me. I had to live a little before kids. I learned.”

It was a terrible time in my life. I had broken up with the love of my life and was expecting him to fight for me to get me back as I dated a man I barely knew. We were in the beginning stages of a relationship and there was a lot of sex. I was in university and knew one day that I wanted to become a high school teacher. Babies weren’t on my radar for a long way off in my life. I wasn’t thinking about babies at all.

I discovered, despite using birth control, that I was pregnant. I turned pale and trembled with terror. I had no idea what I might do. I came from a family that valued children, and I valued them. I didn’t know that I could do something so terrible as abort a child. I was against such horrible things prior to getting into the predicament I found myself in at the moment.

I called a girlfriend who had the procedure done years ago and shared that news with me. I called her up and asked her for the number to the place she went for her abortion. It was in the US. We lived in Canada. My mother worked as the Medical Records Librarian at the only hospital in the county that performed abortions, so she would definitely see my chart. I couldn’t risk it.

I called the place in the US. They said I had to wait for the fetus to be 12 weeks. I was in agony. I didn’t want that fetus inside me a day longer than I had to have it there. I couldn’t stand knowing that it grew inside me only to be ripped out of me so violently to a horrible end. I looked up what happens in an abortion and I was horrified but what else could I do? If I didn’t have the abortion, my life would be ruined before it got started.

The day came and the person and I went stateside and got a room. We went to the clinic. I was the only white person in the place. The procedure was quick and the recovery was horrible. I awoke to a room full of other women who had the same procedure and who were wailing about having killed their baby. It was a bad scene. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

The prescription they gave me was unpleasant. I had to take five huge black pills at a time to ensure that the treatment was effective and that nothing remained inside me. I should have dumped the guy right after that. Instead, we got married. We went on to have two more children.

If this bill had been passed, then I don’t know what I would’ve done. But if I had the baby, the life I have today wouldn’t exist, and that would be a tragedy for me. I had to live a little before kids. I learned.