I had an abortion when I was 25 years old. If I have to talk about my abortion, I also have to talk about my love story. To me, love and abortion are two compatible things and can co-exist.
After a very rough year living in Paris, I decided to leave as an Erasmus student in Leeds, United-Kingdom. There, I could start all over again. What I did not know was that I would fall in love with Bing Yin. He was the friend of my flatmate, Antonio and we met shortly upon my arrival. I guess it was love at first sight. We would hang out, talk, laugh and make love all the time. It was magical.
When I look back, I think that I was a bit stupid to believe that it could not happen. I was not taking the pill, had no contraceptions and we often did not use condoms. We tested ourselves and knew we were clean but we completely occurred the fact that I could get pregnant. It’s like …. we were blinded by the moment and the intimacy.
I have always been very serious, always careful, always on my guard … so silly of me? Yes, I forgot myself and got caught up in the moment. Too late to have regrets anyway because it happened.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I did not panic or got scared. I just immediately considered it as a problem that I could fix easily.
I grew up in a country where abortion has always been legal and accessible for my generation. I grew up in a family where abortion was not a taboo or a shame. I grew up in a society where abortion is considered as a very simple and free medical act. It helps. With that in mind, it was much easier to make the choice to do it. I had no doubts, no fears, no regrets afterwards … life just went on. I know that some people would like me to feel guilty, but the truth is I do not.
When I told him, Bing Ying simply asked me what I wanted to do? He immediately understood that it was my choice, my decision and could only support me through it whatever it was. He was there with me the whole time.
This story happened 8 years ago. Bing Yin and I are still together, stronger than ever. We got married last December. Maybe we will have a baby one day together, maybe not. There is no pressure. If I get pregnant again and am not ready, I will have another abortion without a doubt.
I don’t have to explain or give a reason. It is just about if | am ready or not. For now, I have other dreams and priorities.
-Marcy Petit